Is it sin?

There are things in this life, like physical pain or mental illness, that may not be sin or the result of sin but they can certainly tempt us to sin. I suffer from both of these examples and to me they are simply a result of the fall. They are part of my flesh and it's natural desire to rebel against God. My anxiety itself isn't sin but it can tempt me to distrust the Lord. My physical pain is not a punishment for sin but it can tempt me to question my sovereign God's intentions. Could my physical pain or my anxiety be the result of my own sin? It certainly could. Does it matter in the bigger picture? Not really. 

What I'm learning is that I can barely go 10 mins without sinning. I'm not even sure I can go one minute. Because even if I'm "trying not to sin," there's still something in me being selfish or prideful or unbelieving or idolatrous. I'm still wrapped in this mortal flesh. So, whether it's a product of the curse or results of my sinfulness, my flesh will always war with the Holy Spirit God has put inside of me. There is a war waging even now, as I blog. What matters is not "at what point I sinned." What matters is that when I'm confronted with the reality of my sinfulness, my moment by moment sinfulness, that I'm relieved and thankful for a God who loves me despite my flesh being bent on rebelling against Him. And as God continues to reveal my moment by moment sinfulness, I can respond with solemnity and, through his process of sanctification, bend more toward things of His Spirit rather than things of this flesh.  

This is the Gospel that I must preach to myself every day, every moment: Jesus Christ, God made flesh, left his eternal home in heaven, came to this broken world to save sinners of whom I AM CHIEF. He did not see fit to leave me in my wretchedness but loved me so deeply, He gave up His eternal intimacy with His Father so that I could obtain it as well. He shared His perfect record with me to meet His Father's just requirements. And He purchased me with His blood, enduring far worse than I will ever experience, not only in physical and emotional pain and suffering but in spiritual separation from what we can only begin to comprehend in our finite minds as his "soul mate" (The Father). The response to that kind of one way love is shockingly not to just "love him in return," not because that's a bad response, it's just an impossible one. I'm not capable of truly loving him back the way he's loved me. No, the only appropriate and applicable response is worship. I now see who I am and who He is and I give Him the glory He is due. I'm due nothing. It all belongs to Him. I can't even love him back proportionately. I was made to worship and at the revelation of the depth of His love, I respond in worship. I remember this Gospel and I live to honor the one who loves beyond all love. I know that some days my flesh gets in the way of my mission to give glory and honor to Him who saves. Whether it's my sin or the curse, it doesn't really matter. I'll confess it all and than praise the God Who is big enough to use all of it for His glory!

My Monkey

Today was a really rough day. REALLY.ROUGH. Praise the Lord my kids were at day camp. God has decided to remind me that I have a thorn in the flesh called anxiety and depression. In this very moment I want to curl up under these covers and stay here forever. There is nothing logical, practical, or sensible about any of my feelings today. I've lost all sense of the Gospel, of love, of grace. I'm completely self-absorbed and self-obsessed. And I CANNOT control my tongue. 

This is just a glimpse of mental illness. Yup I said it. The nasty mean monkey on my back that follows me down every path I tread. He hides in the shadows weeks, months, even years at a time, but sooner or later he rears his ugly head and reminds me I'm not cured. I'm still a mess. And I still need Jesus. 

I'm pretty controlling. I like things to be a certain way. But this is one thing I just cannot control. It is the perfect picture of my flesh, my sin nature, that my spirit wars against. I know what I should do but I don't do it. I can't stop myself from doing the things I don't want to do. I do things that I know will hurt me but I cannot stop myself from doing them.

Am I any better than the drug addict? Am I any better than the young, rash teenager? Am I any better than the broken hearted spouse? Or is it that I'm exactly the same, if not worse. It's just my weakness is hidden and managed by tools like medicine and behavioral therapies. 

I think sometimes God breaks my tools for a little while to remind me of this lifelong weakness. To remind me that I'm not cured. To remind me that my monkey isn't going anywhere until I enter His presence for good. 

The only fix for these broken tools is for me to remember the One who makes them work. For me to seek HIM. To lean into HIM. To feel the hurt, to cry the tears, and to remember HE knows. 

He knows sorrow. He knows sadness. He knows the feeling of having no control. He knows frustration. He knows pain. 

He knows because He loves me. He shed His glory to take this wretched form and become a man. He gave up control of the universe, His omnipresence, His omnipotence, to carry on as a man on this earth. Although He had the ability to call HIS angels down from heaven to war against His enemies, He set aside his ability to control all that and submitted to his Father's will. 

Lord, I submit to your will. I know your love. I know that you have nothing but love stored up for me because all the wrath I deserve you poured out on your son. Because I know this, I can trust that you are doing a work in me to shape me more into the image of your son. And that this pain and this struggle does not go unseen by you. You have not abandoned me to fend for myself against this monkey. You just ask me to draw closer to you so you can put him back on his leash. I can see now the reality of where I would be without you and your leash on my monkey. When we are free we forget what it's like to be captive. This captivity can only be truly understood through first hand experience. Even the experienced forget. Lord, thank you for giving me eyes to see my monkey. Thank you for helping me to know how far drifting away will really take me. Thank you for showing me the bloodbath I leave in my wake when my monkey is not in your care. Lord, guide me. Quiet my heart. Tame my monkey. 

You are my shepherd. I shall not want. You make me lie down in green pastures, you lead me beside still waters. You guide me in paths of righteousness for your name's sake. Even as I walk through this valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in YOUR house forever. 

Amen

God's Garden

God’s garden This is a devotion I gave at a ladies event at my church: 

Consider with me, if you will, a garden. The best gardens are designed with different types of plants, all serving a purpose within the overall scheme. I’m no gardener. In fact, it’s a miracle that I can keep my ONE houseplant alive (maybe that’s because it’s a cactus). My mother-in-law is the master gardener of our home. She has designed beautiful gardens all around the yard and tended them for years. She put hydrangeas in the back where they got a little shade. She put daffodils in the front where there was always sun. She mixed large bushes in with small flowers and interspersed hardy greenery throughout. She knew the environment and she knew the needs and strengths and weaknesses of each plant and she placed them in the garden accordingly. 

Now I want to talk to you today about another garden, a garden in which you and I are the plants. God, the Master Gardener has chosen each of us according to his UNIQUE and SPECIFIC plan, with our UNIQUE and SPECIFIC strengths and weaknesses. AND He has placed us in UNIQUE and SPECIFIC environments tailored to his overall design of the garden.

We have been learning about Psalm 139 on Sunday mornings. It shows us how we have all been created differently and designed exactly as God planned us before the dawn of creation. 

Even our weaknesses have been uniquely designed by our Lord. We always think of the variety of our strengths and our gifts – particularly within the church. We think of 1 Corinthians 12 - one body, many parts. The hand cannot tell the eye I don’t need you. We all need each other for our varying gifts. But we forget that we also need our weaknesses, that our weaknesses have a part to play in God’s path for our life. We often look at a struggling sister and desire to just fix it for her. We don't recognize that her struggle is the one God intended for her, right here, right now.

The late missionary, Jim Elliot said "Where ever you are, be all there." We all go through different stages and different seasons. We all had an "ugly phase." For most of us, it was middle school :) But no I’m not REALLY talking about middle school. Take the tulip, for example. It's starts off looking like a heart shaped onion - definitely an ugly phase. If tended properly, it blooms beautiful, richly colored petals and strong green leaves, surviving harsh and barren winters, coming back to bloom again year after year. 

Our weaknesses, our ugly phases, are signs of God's work in us: sanctification, the process of making us more like Christ. Our strong wills require pruning and great care. If we let him, he will make us into something beautiful. 

We struggle through our ugly phases: I want to be seen, I want to be heard, I want to be valued, I want to be past this, I want what she has. We forget to be ALL THERE wherever we are, when where we are isn't pretty. And sometimes the support (or lack thereof) from those around us pushes us to wish it all away. 

We want to be women who remind one another that the Master Gardener is working. He is pruning. He is shaping. He is letting winter kill off the bad so spring can bring the good. And just because you're in winter right now and I'm in summer doesn't mean I can't bear with you (or just plain old BEAR you). We are called to bear one another's burdens. We want to be a group of ladies who say, "where ever you are, I'll be all there WITH you and FOR you."

Maybe we aren't in different seasons but we’re in different parts of the garden. I'm in all sun and you’re part shade. Shall I scoff and point and mock your section of the garden, declaring the sunny side best and urge you to move over here? Or should I trust the Master Gardener in his placement of you because that is where He knows you need to be. 

Ps139:13-16 shows God has uniquely designed you and me AND the different paths he has placed us on. “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

God’s purpose is the same for each of us. His purpose is to conform us to the image of his Son. He puts each of us on a path to achieve this purpose that is best designed for the strengths and weaknesses he created within us. This path for me, includes being a business owner, a working homeschool mom, a member of Broadalbin Baptist church, wife to Andy, mom to Luke and Josh, a mom who struggles with her tongue, a wife who struggles to serve her husband, a woman who struggles to balance work and fun.

Now take my friend Ashlee here. His path for Ashlee includes being a public school teacher, a wife to Shawn, a daughter to Claudia, a mom to Allie and Mac, a mom who struggles with patience and tolerance, a wife who is the “bread-winner” in her home, a Christian woman who doesn’t fit the housewife mold.

That doesn't mean that my way is best or her way is best. Actually neither of our ways is best. Jesus is best. We are sinners. But when we are seeking Him and His will, then the path that HE has placed us on IS best for US. And as I set aside my preferences and self made prejudices, I can begin to get to know you, even though I don’t understand you. I don’t understand why Ashlee wants to be a public high school teacher. That is a frightening thought to me! What do people historically do when they don’t understand something or someone different? They fight it and try to make it like them. But we are not called to be the average intolerant conquerors of old (or the intolerant locals of the present). We are called to be set apart. So I can chose to recognize that God made Ashlee one way and he made me another. To grow in my sanctification, I can pursue Ashlee and try to find out what it is about her that makes THIS the path on which God has placed her. I can then support her, I can be FOR her, even though I’m not just LIKE her.

I know Ashlee well enough to know that she seeks God’s will for her life. Even though we are different, it is easier to be FOR her when I know she understands her need for Jesus. But what about that one who is NOT seeking God and His will? How can I be FOR her? I can tell you how to NOT be FOR her…judging her is not FOR her. Telling her what I think or what I did, giving unsolicited advice, is not FOR her. FOR her is loving, serving, sharing truth, telling her what GOD thinks according to His Word is and making myself a humble servant in the likeness of Christ. THAT is FOR her. People have done this for me and still do. When I am in seasons of sin and suffering, I am blessed with people who are Jesus to me. I am so grateful for those people who are willing to pursue me when I am only pursuing myself. The amazing thing is knowing that somehow, in ways I can’t comprehend, God is using my sin and my seeking of my own will to bring Himself glory and bring me good, the good of sanctification. He is author and completer of my faith. He's the designer. All knowingly designing my weakness and knowing how I will fall to temptation in order to make me more like Him and bring His kingdom into completion.

Sometimes that phrase "my good and his glory" really bugs me. We don't really get the definition of good there. In Rom 8:28 (all things work together...) the Greek word for good is “agathos” and can be translated as "useful". Sanctification is useful. Spreading the Gospel is useful. Sometimes "my good" turns out to be things we don't usually equate with good. Was it for Peter's good that he was crucified upside down? Did anyone see the movie or read the book, "Unbroken?" Was it good for Louie Zamperini’s plane to go down, for him to be lost at sea, beaten, and tortured? Was it good for Betsie Ten Boom to die in a German concentration camp after helping her family hide Jews for almost two years? Or were all these events for the glory of God, through the sanctification of His people and the furtherance of the Gospel to those around them. To this day, souls are changed for Christ through these stories and so many like them. Our limited understanding of "good" clouds our ability to trust God and His plan. We are so self absorbed. We forget... the garden is created for the Gardener to enjoy. The garden is NOT created for the plants.  

Our "good" as I see it, is sanctification. But even our sanctification is ultimately for HIS glory. More of Him, less of me. When it becomes about me it's no longer sanctification. It's not about me reaching perfection. It's about HIS glory being displayed in my life. It about HIS kingdom coming on earth as it is in heaven. This is not the way that we actually think. We think “good” is the American Dream. We think “good” is easy, simple, straightforward. Jesus didn't achieve the American Dream. Things were not easy for him. But for the JOY set before him he endured the cross. That joy was rooted in eternal perspective. Jesus knew that this life is temporary and real LIVING will be in eternity.

Have you ever heard of the concept of a sacrifice plant? I hadn’t…of course, as we’ve learned, I’m no gardener. A sacrifice plant is planted SPECIFICALLY for the purpose of attracting HARM so that other plants can thrive. WOAH. That’s not very nice. A loving God would not do that, right? Our sense of justice kicks in and tells us that we ALL should get a chance to thrive. But a gardener will tell you that one sacrifice plant can save dozens of other plants. Who am I to question the Master Gardener’s design? As we’ve been learning on Sunday mornings, He knows all and He is not confined to time and space. His plan is far bigger than I can dare to comprehend. Psalm 139:6 says, “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.”

Jesus is the ultimate sacrifice plant. And like him we are called to lay down our lives for the Father. Sometimes this actually means our physical lives like Peter or Betsy Ten Boom. Sometimes it means our physical comforts like Louis Zamperini. Rom 8:17 reminds us we share in his hardships so that we will also share in his future glory, trusting the Master Gardener in his perfect design. 

Unlike plants, we have the blessing of having souls and we have the option to recognize the need of our souls to be saved. You see every plant that serves its purpose depends on the gardener. If no one prunes, if no one waters, if no one feeds, the garden becomes a giant mess. The hardy, strong plants take all the resources and the little, weak plants die. The garden looks nothing like its design. It’s a messy, overgrown forest of weeds and stubborn, aggressive plants. Just like plants, we want to go our own way and our way is not the best way. Our way is riddled with sin and selfishness. But when we entrust ourselves to the care of the Master Gardener, we can become something beautiful. Even if that beauty means sacrifice for the good of the garden. We have to submit our souls to the Master Gardener. We have to confess that our way is not good, that it’s ugly, and messy. We have to subject ourselves to being pruned, to being transplanted, even to being sacrificed. 

Some of us are thriving. We are in summer. The soil is rich. Our roots go deep. We are bearing fruit. Some of us are withering. We need pruning. Each day is a struggle to survive. Wherever you are today, know that the Master Gardener has designed everything about your situation, from the environment to the season, from the harmful pests to the protective covering. Depend on him to do what needs to be done. Trust in his love for you - a love that gave up heaven just to be with you. “Wherever you are, be all there.” And let us be all there WITH each other and FOR each other…for ALL our good and for all HIS glory. 

Elementary School

This is a dangerous interpretation and cutting and pasting of scripture without surrounding verses. Just by looking at the full verse one can see our immediate understanding of this is changed. It is not so simple. Heb 6:1-2 (ESV) says "Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, and of instruction about washings [baptism], the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment."

This is not saying, "leave basic teachings about Christ." If anything it says let us remember we are made complete IN Christ, not lacking, not needing any law or list or ritual to save us. We don't need to discuss repentance from dead works, aka "the law" and we don't need instructions about how to raise the dead, baptize, heal, and do good works. What we need is to remember Christ and him crucified. Heb 6:19, the end of the chapter, reminds us of our justification and reconciliation to God through Christ: "We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek."

So no, I disagree. We definitely need to keep going over the basic teaching about Christ. The ones that remind us that we are sinners, that we need a savior, that there is nothing we can do to save ourselves, no baptism, no miracles, no good works. Because as we think we are "mature" in Christ, we forget, that our righteousness is filthy rags. We forget that apart from him we can do nothing. We forget that it is only because of his grace that anything good comes from our wretched hearts. We grow proud of our goodness, we become self-righteous pharisees.

I hope that you will not stop going over the basic teachings about Christ with me. I need the Gospel, every day. Every day I forget I'm a sinner. Every day I think I can save myself. Call me immature. But please, don't stop reminding me of the Gospel. Please tell me as ofter as you can that, "I'm more sinful and flawed than I ever dared believe and I'm more loved and welcome than I ever dared hope."
Only then can I respond in love. Only then, when I remember how much I've been loved, can I love in return. Not by my power by by His Spirit and His grace.

Love Wins

What is so different and surprising about our godless, self-centered country making laws that promote our godless, self-centered desires? How is anyone surprised, caught off guard or really even upset? We've been slaughtering thousands of babies legally for 40 years. We've legally allowed thousands of marriages to end for reasons other than adultery for hundreds of years. We've legally published pornography for dozens of years. We've encouraged lust, envy, greed, gluttony, idolatry and every sin known to man through TV and other media for 60 years. Nothing has changed. Nothing is different. We are a nation of sinners, run by sinners, representing sinners. And because our flesh is weak, sin reigns. 

Some of us sinners have been given the grace to find freedom from the bondage of this sinful world in Christ. If we truly see this freedom as a gift of grace and an act of mercy, why would we stand in judgment over those who've not yet received that grace? Why would we think for one second that sin would not rule in the hearts of those who do not know grace? It's not surprising. It's not shocking. It's what we should expect. It's what we should be prepared for. Not by picketing, or petitioning, or complaining. But by sharing the truth.

The truth that each human on this earth is loved more than they could ever imagine and THAT love can free them from the bondage of this world, from the deceptive, glittery life that always leaves something to be desired. That something is intimacy with a holy and perfect God. And there is some One who gave that up so that you could have it. His name is Jesus and He wants to know you and He wants you to know Him. We "Christians" don't always do the best job of representing Him. He desires what's best for you. He desires joy and love and peace in your life. He doesn't care if your black or white, gay or straight, fat or skinny. He made you. He has plans for you. And if you surrender your life to Him, He'll show you. And someday it will all make sense. Because He is good and He is God.

You see I can point my finger at the group of sinners rejoicing in their new legal freedom. But there's four more fingers pointing back at me. I'm no different. I'm a sinner. Every.single.day. The only difference between me and them is I know my sin has been forgiven. I know my debt has been paid. I don't need to justify myself with a law or the backing of a government. I've been justified by the blood of Jesus. And so I don't point and I don't judge. I love. Or at least I try to remember how I've been loved in order to love others. 

1 John 4:12 says"No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us." In other words: no one will see God without love. How do we love the unlovely? 1 John 4:29 tells us, "We love because he first loved us." And 1 John 3:18 reminds us, "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."

So let's not just talk about loving our neighbor. Let's walk it out. Don't be afraid. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18 ESV

Remember God is love. God is good. We're all looking for a little something good. If you've found it, share it. I believe we will make much more of an impact with love than with politics. Laws of the land do not dictate our hearts. God will change this country if He wills it. However it will likely not be through legislation but through the Gospel being shared and embraced, one heart at a time. God is good. God is love. And yes, #lovewins

Loving Our Sisters - No Filters Allowed

So this is where I'm blessed to live. My in-laws decided to build their dream house about 25 years ago when their boys when off to the Navy. They continued to work hard, and a number of years ago were blessed to retire to Florida and escape the cold, harsh, New York winter. Now their grandchildren have the joy of growing up in the house their grandparents built. So fun! Its a beautiful place and so fun to entertain here. The exterior is just amazing. However there is just one problem with it aesthetically...we LIVE inside.

This is how the inside normally looks. My dining room is clean once a year for Thanksgiving, otherwise its a lego room. The kitchen is a great place to play games. The grand piano is a great place to line up Skylanders. The school room is an explosion of creativity. The boys' bedroom is just that - A BOYS' BEDROOM. The guest room makes a great dress up room and play room. My lovely, large walk in closet make a great place to stack laundry baskets that are full of clothes to be put away. 

If you've ever been to my church on a Sunday morning you've probably heard Pastor Rob say "I'm a mess, you're a mess, we're a mess together."

The Gospel shows us that, like my house, inside we're a mess 

We present a beautiful, clean, show off exterior with our works. We want to be just the right kind of stylish, just the right amount of serving. We want to show up to church with the family nicely dressed and well behaved. 

Even when we let people deeper into our lives, we still clean the house before they come over. We get embarrassed when our kids don't share or they have bad manners on a play date. We make excuses and say, "oh he's tired, he's not usually like this."

But the truth is that I clean the house and 5 mins later it's a mess again. Anyone with children or dogs can relate.

See I CAN'T keep it clean. In this world, in this human fleshly form, I am incapable of cleaning not only the dwelling that I live in, but also the dwelling where the Holy Spirit resides. Any work I do in a desire to keep it clean is presented on the exterior. The interior always ends up back like my messy house.

If I wanted to put a photo of my house of Instagram which one would it be?

Real Christian fellowship is NOT Instagram. We can't take 20 photos, find the one with the best angle, put on a pretty filter and post it for the church to see. No, see... there's no Gospel there. 

What's the Gospel of Christ? It's His incarnation – an omnipresent, omniscient, all powerful God…restricting himself to human form. It’s His sinless life – being fully man and obeying the law perfectly. It's His crucifixion – when he was completely innocent, he died a criminal’s, horrific death (the one we sinners deserve). It's His resurrection – defeating death and the grave by raising himself, something only the one true God can do. It's His ascension – returning to his heavenly home where he intercedes on our behalf, reminding the Father that he’s paid the price for all our transgressions. If the Gospel was Instagram there would only be the "sinless life." And that's what we'd aspire to. Think: "what would Jesus do?" Now do it. 

The truth...we can't. That's why he did. Not just to be an example, to be the keeper of the law that we aspire to. No, to fulfill to the law in our stead. He did it because we can't. When we look at Christ ONLY as an example and not as our justifier and sanctifier, we don't see the full Gospel. We preach, "be perfect as my Heavenly Father is perfect" but we miss "our righteousness is filthy rags." 

I had a humbling experience the last time I was sick. I wrote in my journal my feelings and I want to share it with you. 

"I don’t get sick often but when I do it’s usually God reminding me to slow down, reminding me that I don’t have to be awesome. In my quest for being awesome, I’ve lost sight of the only one who is truly awesome.  I’ve sought fame and acknowledgement from everyone other than the one who already considers me His prize possession. And here I find myself again, at this stage of the cycle, wondering why am I here again? Why can’t I just get it right? Why, even when I try my hardest and my best, am I still a failure? And I cry and I cry (and I don’t cry often). It's then that I’m reminded…if I COULD get it right, why would I need a Savior? If my best was good enough, why did Jesus have to die?  My righteousness is filthy rags. I’m nothing but a Nicodemus, a Pharisee, needing to be cut down and told that earning my way to heaven (or fame, or acknowledgement, or glory) is like conceiving myself in my mother’s womb. It’s just not possible. Because even when I think I have it all together, I really don’t. I’ve got super mom status, but super wife is left behind. I’ve got super church member but super friend has been MIA. See, I just can't be awesome, everywhere, all the time.  Only Jesus can do that. But I’m like Satan…I want to be God. I want to be worshipped. I want the glory. So I try to do what only God can do and I try to do it without him. And so, he graciously lets me fail. And he graciously lets me cry out to him, and he graciously answers and comforts me and tells me again that he’ll pick up the pieces if I’ll let go of them. But I still want a list. I still think that if someone just tells me what to do, I can get it right. See, even when I get a glimpse of the truth, I retreat back to my old ways because it’s so foreign. Its so uncomfortable to just rest, to just be still and know and trust that he is God and he is good, and he will take care of it. So instead of running to make the list or running to the phone, I’m running to his arms. Trusting that if I draw near to him, he will draw near to me. He will lead me and He will guide me. 'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.'"

Webster defines awesome: “causing feelings of fear and wonder, causing feelings of awe; extremely good.”

I'm definitely not extremely good. The bible tells me what I am: 

“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” (Romans 3:10-12 NIV)

AND

Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins. (Ecclesiastes 7:20 NIV)

AND

The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds, there is none who does good. The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one. (Psalm 53:1-3 ESV)

AND

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23 ESV)

So nope… definitely not "extremely good."

And the only one who should be causing "feelings of fear and wonder and awe" is God because of who he IS and what he's DONE:

Let's see, um...creation, plagues, sea parting, manna providing, wall tumbling, sun stilling, battle winning, dead raising, sick healing, self sacrificing, guilty justifying, sinners sanctifying, relationship reconciling.

...[we] are justified by his grace as a GIFT, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation (anger taker awayer) by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. (Romans 3:24-26 ESV)

AND 

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the GIFT of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:4-9 ESV)

Now THAT is AWESOME! Amen?

As much as we try to be awesome, the reality is at one time or another someone will see our mess. Like when my pastor's wife came to my house on a busy week to pick up some decorations for a baby shower. And it looked like all the pictures above.

So when you see a sister's dirt, when you see she can't be awesome...what do you do? Do you shame her, reminding her to be like Jesus? To put on the Instagram filter and clean up the outside? Do you tell others what a wreck she is. Puffing yourself up, making yourself feel better because at least you don't have THAT mess to deal with?

I did that. Just a few days ago. I was HOT at someone and I was judging her left and right. God had JUST THAT MORNING given me a large chunk of this message and here I was that evening, doing the exact thing I was going to be standing here telling you not to do. God is so fun like that, isn't he?! But he showed me the error of my ways and he showed me fast - praise be to him. And I realized it was only through him that I would be able to extend grace to this sister. And I asked. And he provided. It was just such an exciting real life example for me. A reminder that we are challenged here everyday. Because I could have shamed her. I could have gossiped about her. But God reminded me of my mess. And of how much he loves me in it. 

So what's the alternative to shaming and judging? Like God did for me, we remind our messy sister of how much she is loved. 

We step in and say, "oh I know about this! Let me get a broom!" Not because we can clean her mess, no, that would be us trying to be awesome and be her savior. Holy Spirit cleans the house, not us. But because we can relate and we can understand her struggle, we can point her to how her mess shows her need for a Savior. It shows her how she can't be awesome. And we can tell her "that's ok, Jesus is awesome FOR you. Isn't that beautiful?"

It's only after we see that truth that we can begin to allow Holy Spirit to clean THIS house. But we need each other for this. Just like when I was sick and God knocked me upside the head and told me I wasn't awesome, I immediately wanted someone to just tell me what to do. But what I really needed was someone to tell me what Jesus did. And because of that my heart was changed. 

This is all well and good for our friends, right? When Holy Spirit starts to bring comprehension of these truths we can begin to love our sisters the way God intended. But what about those sisters who really rub us the wrong way? They get under our skin, drive us nuts, and we’d be perfectly happy to have nothing to do with them for the rest of eternity. Come on…you know you have one (or two or ten) of these sisters.

Truth is…if she is truly a sister in Christ, a child of the one true King, you WILL most definitely be with her for eternity. And maybe, just maybe, God put her in your life here in the flesh, to grow you, to grow her, to teach you more about His grace, His love, and his overarching plan to share the Gospel with the whole world.

"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:44-45a ESV)

"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." (Luke 6:35-36 ESV)

Not easy, right...but our example hung on a cross enduring insults for us, saying f"ather, forgive them," loving us as we yell "crucify him" with our daily acts of idolatry and unbelief. Who does that?! Only Jesus. And although we cannot meet the criteria of perfect child of God, we can be grateful for his substitutionary death and imputed righteousness that reminds us how truly little we have to suffer for his name.

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."(Romans 5:6-8 ESV)

"For if while we were ENEMIES we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life." (Romans 5:10 ESV)

When we realize our inability to love our enemies, we have a few choices.  One: we can despair, hopeless as we look at the reality of our sin. Two: we can attempt to "try again" at righteousness with determination, pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps and working at it. OR three: we can look at our perfect example, realizing his perfect love for us, who have made ourselves his enemy. He cried for his Father to forgive us as he was on the verge of being separated from the one with whom he had constant intimacy since forever, never having been apart. And because of this love for us, his enemy, we now never have to be separated from the Father. We never have to experience a break in intimacy. We have unlimited access. The veil was torn. 

See, we CANNOT love our enemies or even our SISTERS like that. But we can look at Christ and be changed. We can see the depth of his love for his enemy (us) and be moved by gratitude and humility, recognizing how undeserving we are of this grace. And in that response, a love will grow, a love for God, and a love for others, even those who hurt us, frustrate us, drive us mad. If we can see ourselves as an enemy, we can have mercy on those who are an enemy to us. After all, we have had very little to endure from our enemies, in comparison to what we've put Jesus through. And what we've put Jesus through is what we actually deserve. 

And what we get instead is what we should be denied: access to the Father, eternal glory, reigning with Christ, a position of honor. And his Holy Spirit in this house, sweeping and mopping the daily messes we make.

Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, (1 Corinthians 15:1 ESV)

To love our sisters truly we need to put aside the filters. We need to be real. We need to remember we are all in the same boat just rowing different oars. Instead of looking at each other's oars let's remind one another to look at the Gospel, to look at Jesus. He's out on the water calling us to join him. Let's step out together, reminding one another to look to Jesus when our feet start to sink...because they WILL sink.