Divisions in Christian Parenting

Today I went online to my favorite christian parenting forum and found a thread which prompted an awesome Bible study for me. I know it's long but if you will bear with me there are some wonderful scriptures that I think will encourage and remind all of us of God's design for fellowship, especially among parents. 

In this day of social networking, we are much more apt to share our controversial opinions since they are hidden behind a computer screen.  Whether it be politics or parenting, I think we’ve all spouted out something on Facebook, Twitter, our blog, or a forum, that has caused a raucous.  As Christians, we often feel the need to correct other believers who are not parenting quite as “biblically” as we are.  It so easy to judge and condemn other parents when we are standing on the outside looking in, or even easier when our only relationship with them is online.

In order to make the most of fellowship and its benefits, I think there are a few things we need to remember.  We all have to be cautious to respect one another. Its so imperative not to get defensive or offended because people choose to parent a different way. God made us all unique and gave us unique children meant just for us. None of us will agree 100%, except (I hope and pray) that Jesus died for our sins and rose from the dead and that He is our Lord and Savior.

Another thing to consider is that those in opposition to your choices may be parents young in their faith (or just young parents). Even if there IS error in their ways, they certainly will not be won over by argument, but by love, as an unbelieving husband is won over by his submitted wife (1 Pet 3:1-2). We are told that a gentle answer turns away wrath (Prov 15:1). We are also to rebuke gently (Gal 5:6) and let the Holy Spirit do the convicting if there is sin (John 16:8).

The truth is we all have something to learn from one another. A few years ago I judged "AP" (attachment parenting) parents. Now I respect them and take from that style of parenting what works for my family. I stopped judging fellow believers by their choices and started judging them by their sin (1 Cor 5:12). 

You see, there is a difference.  And I think thats what far too many people are too lazy to figure out.  The bible teaches us the difference between sin and feelings, sin and opinions, sin and parenting styles.  AP is not sin.  Bottle feeding is not sin.  Spanking is not sin.  NOT SPANKING is not sin.  

Parenting is tough business.  God gave us fellowship so that we can share with one another. However, He cautions us to avoid arguments, quarreling and strife.

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Prov 20:3

It is to one's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.

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Matt 5:9

Blessed are the peacemakers

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Heb 12:14

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

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Prov 19:11

A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense.

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Heb 12:24

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

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1 Pet 4:8

Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.

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Gal 6:10

Therefore, as we have opportunity let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

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Rom 12:18

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

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Eph 4:2-3

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

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1 Cor 1:26-31

"Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.'"

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This passage and back through verse 10 basically tell us to stop thinking we are so wise and knowledgable in our ways (of parenting). We all came from foolishness in one way or another. For us to judge and argue that our way is best, is only more foolishness. It is Christ in whom we should boast. He is the One who gives us wisdom in parenting. He is the One who guides each mom or dad to do what is best for their child. Who are we to tell a mom or dad how they should parent? "Who has known the mind of the Lord or become his counselor?" (Rom 11:34)

Sharing our experiences and things we have learned is helpful to one another. It is the way we can "spur one another on toward love and good deeds" (Heb 12:24).

But we have to avoid the temptation to argue our way is best, as that only creates division and strife. 

The church was divided in the first century and it will be until Christ's return. It was difficult enough within the local church.  Now with the social networking revolution, we as Christian must choose to be different.

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Rom 14:1-23

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,

‘every knee will bow before me;

every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

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How we parent (or whether or not you eat kosher, drink alcohol, observe the sabbath, etc) is between each one of us and God. As long as we are doing it for God and by conviction of the Holy Spirit that is what matters. If we are insecure in our parenting perhaps it's time to sit down with God and His Word and seek out His will for our parenting.

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1 Rom 15:5, 7

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ had...Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

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Rom 15:14

I myself am convinced, my brothers and sisters, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with knowledge and competent to instruct each other.

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We are able to fellowship and share with one another our struggles, our successes, our fears, our failures. We are able glean wisdom from those who have gone before us. We all need an extra dose of humility as parents because, of course, we think our kids are the most loved, sweetest, smartest, and most beautiful things God created. He MADE us to feel that way about them, as He feels that way about each one of us. And I think if we remember that last part it will help us to be humble, keeping in mind we are ALL His children, made in HIS image. 

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Gal 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

So don’t give up being different for Jesus.  Don’t be a self righteous parent. Be a righteous parent, through the grace of Christ.  We are made righteous though the washing of his shed blood on the cross (Rev 7:14).  By nothing that we have done, not by breastfeeding, scheduling, co-sleeping, spanking, training, homeschooling, attachment parenting, or anything else. Only by what Jesus did once and for ALL, on the cross, can we be made righteous.  Only through acknowledging our inability to be the perfect parent can we humbly obey His command to train our children in the way THEY should go (Prov 22:6).  God calls each one of us to different ministry.  We are all to preach the gospel but we all do it in many different ways.  Why would we then not train in many different ways, all equally acceptable and effective for pointing children in the way they should go. 

We Christians need to stop thinking we are always so right.  Let’s stop trying to be right and start trying to be righteous, not by our might or our power, but by His Spirit (Zac 4:6).

Amen?

So much to do...so little time...

Next to my bed lay countless books...at least 10 that I want to read. Next to that lay my guitar that I want to play. Out in the dining room sits my child whom I want to teach. In the laundry room lay the laundry I need to fold. In the kitchen lay the dishes I should put in the dishwasher. In the fridge lay the ingredients I need to make dinner soon. In the living room lay the couch I wish I spent more time on. On the buffet lay my work files and laptop waiting for me to do year end.

And where am I? I am in bed. Laying on an ice pack and resisting the temptation to do all those things. Resting and contemplating my situation.

Why is it that when we are motivated something always slows us down. Well I guess that can be attributed to Satan. He is very good at breaking any resolve we may have to do the right things.

Or maybe it's God saying "Liz, Liz, you are troubled by many things but only one thing is needed."

"And P.S. if you wont rest and be still with Me on your own accord I'll help you slow down some other way."

Ok God. I'm listening. What do you want from me? What are the important things in this life. Reveal them to me that I may spend my time more wisely worshipping and honoring you in everything I do.

Not a Morning Person...

God has been wanting me in the morning for years and I have been rejecting Him. He spoke to me almost two weeks ago and told me simply that I needed to obey. I asked him how could I when I'm so tired all the time. He said obedience first, then blessing. He spoke again and gave me a specific time to get up and spend time with Him.

Every time I have tried to get up early (meaning 6 or earlier) since having children I have failed. I keep up with it for a few days and then I have some excuse, I went to bed late, I was up in the night, I'm sick, blah blah.

For me its about being disciplined and putting God and my family first. Not only does God want me up and spending time with him. But DH wants me up and ready for the day before the kids come bounding down at 7. I am a much nicer, happier mama and wife when I have had some time awake and time with the Lord before the activity of the day begins.

God gave me this scripture the week before I finally obeyed:

Psalm 63:6-8

6 On my bed I remember you;

I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help,

I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 I cling to you;

your right hand upholds me.

He would help me if I clung to him. I can think of him all night and desire that time with him in the morning.

Also convicting was when my husband pointed out how when a friend or something fun was depending on me to get up early I could do it easily, but when he and God were depending on me I chose to disappoint them. It all boiled down to just plain selfishness. It really didn't matter if I wasn't a morning person. I needed to change and all it took was obedience and God would do the rest.

I set my alarm for 5:30. Of course I spent so much time disobeying and procrastinating that the day I started was the day we lost an hour due to daylight savings here on the east coast of the US. So I really was getting up at 4:30! God does have a sense of humor. I put my phone (alarm) across the room and had to get out of bed to shut it off.

I started reading a proverb a day (corresponding with the day of the month). Its amazing how many talk about how the fool loves sleep and is lazy etc. I do love sleep and I was so convicted. Well its been almost two weeks. I have not slept in once. I have napped once because I did go to bed too late and am coming down with something. God has sustained me and the last few days I have woke up 10-15 mins before my alarm with praise songs in my head. It is such a blessing to know that even as I sleep and dream God is on my mind. My days have been better. My attitude has been positive. My prayer life has improved.

Now I start by writing in my prayer journal, then read my proverb, then maybe write some more or read a bible study book I am doing or continue my very slow read through the bible. Every morning is a bit different but it is a huge blessing. Now I look forward to that special time with my Savior. Its something that I definitely would not give up for anyone, even my previous love, sleep.

Stress

On May 10, 2009 we welcomed J into the world. I went into labor quickly and was rushed into the operating room as J was breech and his foot was coming first. We both made it through the surgery well and within a short time J was contentedly nursing and resting. The first week was a dichotomy, easy caring for the second baby, harder recovering from major surgery. After 2 weeks I was ready to hit the town, having been pent up for so long (it seemed) I really wanted to get back to my "normal" life. By the end of week 3 I was suffering. Not only did the pain come back in my abdomen, but the 3 week growth spurt/fussy time had begun.

On top of all this life and work goes on around me. L has been fairly good but I have found it difficult to keep my cool with him under my sleep deprived circumstances. I question my abilities as a mom everyday. I really just want to take care of my family "properly" but I am now learning its just too much to expect three weeks postpartum.

Not only does family life go on but so does work. We do have extra help but there are certain things like tenant screening and selection that are my job exclusively. Unfortunately we had two openings this month. The first one that I rented I'm fearing I jumped too quickly and will be regretting, the second still isn't rented.

Today I find myself overly stressed. When I was wallowing in my negative attitude, comparing myself to others, something inside said, "stress is a choice". Yes, life is a bit hard right now, but I have so much to be grateful for. It could be so much worse. And honestly, comparing doesn't do my negative attitude any good because I find that I am spoiled compared to most new moms:

I have a husband who can stay home from work pretty much anytime. He is at my beckon call for whatever I need, whether it be sleep, food, errands, or a shower. My in-laws and mother jump at the chance to help me with L, meals, or picking up items at the store. My newborn is healthy and growing. He has enough strength to cry when he's hungry, wet, or just wants to be with me. My two year old has adjusted to his baby brother seamlessly. He loves his parents and just wants our attention, how can I fault him for that. I have a job that enables me to work on my own schedule. I have hired help at work and at home. I have all the materiel things I need and want to make caring for my family easy.

Sometimes I just have to stop and think. This is one of those times. Like David all throughout the Psalms, regardless of his circumstances, he was determined to praise. When he was chased, falsely accused, attacked, he just continued to move closer to God. He was faithful, never doubting God's eternal plan. May I be like David, praising my God through all the trials, never questioning, never wishing things were different, just accepting God knows more than me and He will see me through.

Psalm 71

¹ In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;

let me never be put to shame.

² Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness;
turn your ear to me and save me.

³ Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.

⁴ Deliver me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of evil and cruel men.

⁵ For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD,
my confidence since my youth.

⁶ From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother's womb.
I will ever praise you.

⁷ I have become like a portent to many,
but you are my strong refuge.

⁸ My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.

⁹ Do not cast me away when I am old;
do not forsake me when my strength is gone.

¹⁰ For my enemies speak against me;
those who wait to kill me conspire together.

¹¹ They say, "God has forsaken him;
pursue him and seize him,
for no one will rescue him."

¹² Be not far from me, O God;
come quickly, O my God, to help me.

¹³ May my accusers perish in shame;
may those who want to harm me
be covered with scorn and disgrace.

¹⁴ But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.

¹⁵ My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.

¹⁶ I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.

¹⁷ Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.

¹⁸ Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.

¹⁹ Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?

²⁰ Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.

²¹ You will increase my honor
and comfort me once again.

²² I will praise you with the harp
for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.

²³ My lips will shout for joy
when I sing praise to you—
I, whom you have redeemed.

²⁴ My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
have been put to shame and confusion.

God's Eyes

I have really been convicted lately to see people with God's eyes. You hear this terminology around the Christian community so often but how often do we really do it? Its amazing the difference in my relationship with others when I stop judging and let God be the judge. When I start seeing them as His lost sheep and loving them with His love, something amazing happens. Its got to be supernatural because I know I am not capable of looking beyond the sinner, but I know God is. He is changing something in me and its really amazing. Its so awesome when my first thought about a person or situation is surprising to me. A friend told me of a struggling person she knew and how disappointing it was to watch this person live in sin. My first thought wasn't "how could they be so stupid", it was "love them". I know that didn't come from me. I hope that I continue to walk close enough with God that His thoughts become my thoughts.

John 3:30
³⁰He must become greater; I must become less.

Funny how God Answers Prayer

For the past few days I have been praying for clarity on how to respond to DH's recent desire to beef up security at home. I had concerns about his motivation but didn't want to express them without God's leading. I was really wanting to submit and support his desire but at the same time wondering how we balance trusting God and preparing for "the worst". I mean who likes thinking about the possibility of home invasion. When he spoke to me about his ideas for security improvement (nothing too extreme, no bars on the windows or anything) I was reserved and just said they sounded like ideas to look into. Meanwhile I was praying for discernment and the proper response.

So...God is so funny. Today at the doctor's office, I was checking out and discovered that my wallet was not in my purse. That was a bit disconcerting. I considered the last time I had it out which was 2 days ago. Thankfully I did not completely freak out. I finished my errands for the morning and stopped by the bank to check my balance. Then called a few places it might have been. I asked for prayer to find it and then searched the car and house. I checked online and none of the cards had been used. I was starting to break down when it wasn't turning up at home. But quickly I determined to not let this ruin my awesome week or my day (in which was planned a special V-day date with DH). After considering all that could have happened to it, my best logical explanation is that it was stolen from my car yesterday morning.

Now a few months ago this could have been something that really set me off for weeks. I would have made a catastrophe out of the whole thing and been complaining about it to everyone. But today while talking over the whole situation with DH on our date, I realized that losing my wallet was actually an answer to prayer.

See, God helped me to see that...well, simply put, "Bad things happen to good people". It is likely that someone actually stole my wallet. How likely it is that someone will break into my house? Well, I don't know, but it could happen. Even though I love God and God loves me, there is still evil in this world and...it could happen. So why not follow the wisdom that God has given my husband to protect his family. There really is no reason not to.

The missing wallet was a big deal. Just not in the way you would think. It was a big deal because it was God speaking to me again for the umpteenth time this week. Praise Him for his faithfulness and His answering prayer...even when its not as we expect.

God's Creation

I saw two of the most stunning examples of his creation this week. Today it was a beautiful full rainbow that I swear was there just for me. There is this stretch of road on my way home that is just fields and then mountains in the background...I could see the complete rainbow in front of the mountains and there was no one else on the road. It was just amazing!

On Monday as I was on my way home in the evening (the same day God gave me Gal 6:9) I saw the full moon rising at sunset. Have you ever seen it? So huge and bright and beautiful. It was like God was saying, way to go Liz I'm so proud of you and glad you are listening to me.

I love those moments when I really feel God in my life. Its great to know that I dont labor in vain. 1 Cor 15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Growing Weary

Gal 6:9-10
9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Do you ever have one of those days where you are weary of doing good?

That was me yesterday and it was awesome because God brought this verse to mind and it really encouraged me.
DH and I were struggling yesterday, partly because of our flesh and partly because I think Satan is trying to attack since we both have been doing so well lately and growing so much.

Needless to say we both made some mistakes and my flesh really just wanted to give up on the day. I didn't want to go to the grocery store, work or make dinner. These may seem like little things but these are the things that I have been working on keeping a tight schedule with. I knew DH would like the dinner I was making and I wanted to be mad and just not make it. But I didn't give in! Even though my flesh was saying, "why do I always have to be the good one, doing the right thing?". And then this verse popped into my head! Praise God. I did what I needed to do for the day and was encouraged and had a good attitude about it.

Sometimes its just hard to get out of our own ruts but this verse really helped me do that yesterday.

Gifts of the Spirit

1 Cor 12:1-11
1Now about spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be ignorant. 2You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. 3Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit.

4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.

7Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

So what about the gifts? Are they for us now or just for the early church? If so, how do we use them?

I believe that the gifts are for the church now as much as they were for the early church.

I grew up in a church that was very "spirit-filled". I put it in quotes because that is just what people tend to say, though I believe we all have the spirit in us if we have Christ.

In this spirit filled church though, even as a young girl, I felt pressure to have to speak in tongues and be slain in the spirit, when prayed for. I look back and wonder how real those experiences were (for me). I don't doubt that God does those things in us and through us. I just feel like sometimes too much emphasis is put on these things and it distracts from God's true purpose for us - to be holy and blameless on the day of his coming. I wonder if I spent more time learning his word then trying to impress the congregation, would I have strayed less?

"to SOME are given"...not to all or that all need to experience/receive each gift. God gives gifts to those of his choosing and to be used for his purposes to edify the body...not edify the individual.

Eph 4:11-13
11And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;12For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:13Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:

Rom 12:5-7
5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

When we talk about gifts people get so stuck on tongues and healing that they forget about so many of the other gifts...like faith, teaching, serving, encouraging, etc. These gifts are no less important and need to be recognized as much as the more "supernatural" gifts. No gift is too small for God to use in amazing ways!

Judging

What does God say about judging others? The first few verses I can think of are these:
Mat 7:1-2
1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

And then seemingly to the contrary:

1 Cor 5:9-13
9I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."

What does judging really mean? And what does Paul mean by judging those inside the church?

First and foremost there is only one true judge, Jesus Christ. He will judge the living and the dead (Acts 10:42, 2 Tim 4:1, 1 Pet 4:5). However Paul has a point we as the church are to hold one another accountable - out of brotherly love for the good of the church. But we cannot hold up the same measuring stick to those outside the church. They don't have Christ so how can they be expected to live like him. Our focus there should be sharing His love, not his judgment.

Judging within the church is also a very fine line. Eph 4 talks about speaking the truth in love in order to gain unity. But we also have to wait on God's timing and always approach others with humility.

God has really taught me this because I struggle with pride. I really have to be careful when looking at others. I have to not compare and I have to remember that all I am and have is what God has given me. I am no better than anyone else. And if I have grown in ways that others may not have yet, it is only because of what God has chosen to do in me. Not by my might, not by my power but by HIS SPIRIT! (Zec 4:6)

I have also learned that compassion is another key for me in not judging. Instead of looking down my nose at those who struggle, I'm learning to recognize and empathize with how difficult our struggles can be.

Again, Jesus is the one true judge, we are just his servants and need to be careful who and how we "judge".