Sunday, May 10, 2015

Loving Our Sisters - No Filters Allowed



So this is where I'm blessed to live. My in-laws decided to build their dream house about 25 years ago when their boys when off to the Navy. They continued to work hard, and a number of years ago were blessed to retire to Florida and escape the cold, harsh, New York winter. Now their grandchildren have the joy of growing up in the house their grandparents built. So fun! Its a beautiful place and so fun to entertain here. The exterior is just amazing. However there is just one problem with it aesthetically...we LIVE inside.




This is how the inside normally looks. My dining room is clean once a year for Thanksgiving, otherwise its a lego room. The kitchen is a great place to play games. The grand piano is a great place to line up Skylanders. The school room is an explosion of creativity. The boys' bedroom is just that - A BOYS' BEDROOM. The guest room makes a great dress up room and play room. My lovely, large walk in closet make a great place to stack laundry baskets that are full of clothes to be put away. 

If you've ever been to my church on a Sunday morning you've probably heard Pastor Rob say "I'm a mess, you're a mess, we're a mess together."

The Gospel shows us that, like my house, inside we're a mess 

We present a beautiful, clean, show off exterior with our works. We want to be just the right kind of stylish, just the right amount of serving. We want to show up to church with the family nicely dressed and well behaved. 

Even when we let people deeper into our lives, we still clean the house before they come over. We get embarrassed when our kids don't share or they have bad manners on a play date. We make excuses and say, "oh he's tired, he's not usually like this."

But the truth is that I clean the house and 5 mins later it's a mess again. Anyone with children or dogs can relate.

See I CAN'T keep it clean. In this world, in this human fleshly form, I am incapable of cleaning not only the dwelling that I live in, but also the dwelling where the Holy Spirit resides. Any work I do in a desire to keep it clean is presented on the exterior. The interior always ends up back like my messy house.

If I wanted to put a photo of my house of Instagram which one would it be?

Real Christian fellowship is NOT Instagram. We can't take 20 photos, find the one with the best angle, put on a pretty filter and post it for the church to see. No, see... there's no Gospel there. 

What's the Gospel of Christ? It's His incarnation – an omnipresent, omniscient, all powerful God…restricting himself to human form. It’s His sinless life – being fully man and obeying the law perfectly. It's His crucifixion – when he was completely innocent, he died a criminal’s, horrific death (the one we sinners deserve). It's His resurrection – defeating death and the grave by raising himself, something only the one true God can do. It's His ascension – returning to his heavenly home where he intercedes on our behalf, reminding the Father that he’s paid the price for all our transgressions. If the Gospel was Instagram there would only be the "sinless life." And that's what we'd aspire to. Think: "what would Jesus do?" Now do it. 

The truth...we can't. That's why he did. Not just to be an example, to be the keeper of the law that we aspire to. No, to fulfill to the law in our stead. He did it because we can't. When we look at Christ ONLY as an example and not as our justifier and sanctifier, we don't see the full Gospel. We preach, "be perfect as my Heavenly Father is perfect" but we miss "our righteousness is filthy rags." 

I had a humbling experience the last time I was sick. I wrote in my journal my feelings and I want to share it with you. 

"I don’t get sick often but when I do it’s usually God reminding me to slow down, reminding me that I don’t have to be awesome. In my quest for being awesome, I’ve lost sight of the only one who is truly awesome.  I’ve sought fame and acknowledgement from everyone other than the one who already considers me His prize possession. And here I find myself again, at this stage of the cycle, wondering why am I here again? Why can’t I just get it right? Why, even when I try my hardest and my best, am I still a failure? And I cry and I cry (and I don’t cry often). It's then that I’m reminded…if I COULD get it right, why would I need a Savior? If my best was good enough, why did Jesus have to die?  My righteousness is filthy rags. I’m nothing but a Nicodemus, a Pharisee, needing to be cut down and told that earning my way to heaven (or fame, or acknowledgement, or glory) is like conceiving myself in my mother’s womb. It’s just not possible. Because even when I think I have it all together, I really don’t. I’ve got super mom status, but super wife is left behind. I’ve got super church member but super friend has been MIA. See, I just can't be awesome, everywhere, all the time.  Only Jesus can do that. But I’m like Satan…I want to be God. I want to be worshipped. I want the glory. So I try to do what only God can do and I try to do it without him. And so, he graciously lets me fail. And he graciously lets me cry out to him, and he graciously answers and comforts me and tells me again that he’ll pick up the pieces if I’ll let go of them. But I still want a list. I still think that if someone just tells me what to do, I can get it right. See, even when I get a glimpse of the truth, I retreat back to my old ways because it’s so foreign. Its so uncomfortable to just rest, to just be still and know and trust that he is God and he is good, and he will take care of it. So instead of running to make the list or running to the phone, I’m running to his arms. Trusting that if I draw near to him, he will draw near to me. He will lead me and He will guide me. 'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.'"

Webster defines awesome: “causing feelings of fear and wonder, causing feelings of awe; extremely good.”

I'm definitely not extremely good. The bible tells me what I am: 

“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” (Romans 3:10-12 NIV)

AND

Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins. (Ecclesiastes 7:20 NIV)

AND

The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds, there is none who does good. The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one. (Psalm 53:1-3 ESV)

AND

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23 ESV)

So nope… definitely not "extremely good."

And the only one who should be causing "feelings of fear and wonder and awe" is God because of who he IS and what he's DONE:

Let's see, um...creation, plagues, sea parting, manna providing, wall tumbling, sun stilling, battle winning, dead raising, sick healing, self sacrificing, guilty justifying, sinners sanctifying, relationship reconciling.


...[we] are justified by his grace as a GIFT, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation (anger taker awayer) by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. (Romans 3:24-26 ESV)

AND 

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the GIFT of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:4-9 ESV)

Now THAT is AWESOME! Amen?

As much as we try to be awesome, the reality is at one time or another someone will see our mess. Like when my pastor's wife came to my house on a busy week to pick up some decorations for a baby shower. And it looked like all the pictures above.

So when you see a sister's dirt, when you see she can't be awesome...what do you do? Do you shame her, reminding her to be like Jesus? To put on the Instagram filter and clean up the outside? Do you tell others what a wreck she is. Puffing yourself up, making yourself feel better because at least you don't have THAT mess to deal with?

I did that. Just a few days ago. I was HOT at someone and I was judging her left and right. God had JUST THAT MORNING given me a large chunk of this message and here I was that evening, doing the exact thing I was going to be standing here telling you not to do. God is so fun like that, isn't he?! But he showed me the error of my ways and he showed me fast - praise be to him. And I realized it was only through him that I would be able to extend grace to this sister. And I asked. And he provided. It was just such an exciting real life example for me. A reminder that we are challenged here everyday. Because I could have shamed her. I could have gossiped about her. But God reminded me of my mess. And of how much he loves me in it. 

So what's the alternative to shaming and judging? Like God did for me, we remind our messy sister of how much she is loved. 

We step in and say, "oh I know about this! Let me get a broom!" Not because we can clean her mess, no, that would be us trying to be awesome and be her savior. Holy Spirit cleans the house, not us. But because we can relate and we can understand her struggle, we can point her to how her mess shows her need for a Savior. It shows her how she can't be awesome. And we can tell her "that's ok, Jesus is awesome FOR you. Isn't that beautiful?"

It's only after we see that truth that we can begin to allow Holy Spirit to clean THIS house. But we need each other for this. Just like when I was sick and God knocked me upside the head and told me I wasn't awesome, I immediately wanted someone to just tell me what to do. But what I really needed was someone to tell me what Jesus did. And because of that my heart was changed. 

This is all well and good for our friends, right? When Holy Spirit starts to bring comprehension of these truths we can begin to love our sisters the way God intended. But what about those sisters who really rub us the wrong way? They get under our skin, drive us nuts, and we’d be perfectly happy to have nothing to do with them for the rest of eternity. Come on…you know you have one (or two or ten) of these sisters.

Truth is…if she is truly a sister in Christ, a child of the one true King, you WILL most definitely be with her for eternity. And maybe, just maybe, God put her in your life here in the flesh, to grow you, to grow her, to teach you more about His grace, His love, and his overarching plan to share the Gospel with the whole world.

"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:44-45a ESV)

"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." (Luke 6:35-36 ESV)

Not easy, right...but our example hung on a cross enduring insults for us, saying f"ather, forgive them," loving us as we yell "crucify him" with our daily acts of idolatry and unbelief. Who does that?! Only Jesus. And although we cannot meet the criteria of perfect child of God, we can be grateful for his substitutionary death and imputed righteousness that reminds us how truly little we have to suffer for his name.

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."(Romans 5:6-8 ESV)

"For if while we were ENEMIES we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life." (Romans 5:10 ESV)

When we realize our inability to love our enemies, we have a few choices.  One: we can despair, hopeless as we look at the reality of our sin. Two: we can attempt to "try again" at righteousness with determination, pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps and working at it. OR three: we can look at our perfect example, realizing his perfect love for us, who have made ourselves his enemy. He cried for his Father to forgive us as he was on the verge of being separated from the one with whom he had constant intimacy since forever, never having been apart. And because of this love for us, his enemy, we now never have to be separated from the Father. We never have to experience a break in intimacy. We have unlimited access. The veil was torn. 

See, we CANNOT love our enemies or even our SISTERS like that. But we can look at Christ and be changed. We can see the depth of his love for his enemy (us) and be moved by gratitude and humility, recognizing how undeserving we are of this grace. And in that response, a love will grow, a love for God, and a love for others, even those who hurt us, frustrate us, drive us mad. If we can see ourselves as an enemy, we can have mercy on those who are an enemy to us. After all, we have had very little to endure from our enemies, in comparison to what we've put Jesus through. And what we've put Jesus through is what we actually deserve. 

And what we get instead is what we should be denied: access to the Father, eternal glory, reigning with Christ, a position of honor. And his Holy Spirit in this house, sweeping and mopping the daily messes we make.

Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, (1 Corinthians 15:1 ESV)

To love our sisters truly we need to put aside the filters. We need to be real. We need to remember we are all in the same boat just rowing different oars. Instead of looking at each other's oars let's remind one another to look at the Gospel, to look at Jesus. He's out on the water calling us to join him. Let's step out together, reminding one another to look to Jesus when our feet start to sink...because they WILL sink. 



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