Is it sin?

There are things in this life, like physical pain or mental illness, that may not be sin or the result of sin but they can certainly tempt us to sin. I suffer from both of these examples and to me they are simply a result of the fall. They are part of my flesh and it's natural desire to rebel against God. My anxiety itself isn't sin but it can tempt me to distrust the Lord. My physical pain is not a punishment for sin but it can tempt me to question my sovereign God's intentions. Could my physical pain or my anxiety be the result of my own sin? It certainly could. Does it matter in the bigger picture? Not really. 

What I'm learning is that I can barely go 10 mins without sinning. I'm not even sure I can go one minute. Because even if I'm "trying not to sin," there's still something in me being selfish or prideful or unbelieving or idolatrous. I'm still wrapped in this mortal flesh. So, whether it's a product of the curse or results of my sinfulness, my flesh will always war with the Holy Spirit God has put inside of me. There is a war waging even now, as I blog. What matters is not "at what point I sinned." What matters is that when I'm confronted with the reality of my sinfulness, my moment by moment sinfulness, that I'm relieved and thankful for a God who loves me despite my flesh being bent on rebelling against Him. And as God continues to reveal my moment by moment sinfulness, I can respond with solemnity and, through his process of sanctification, bend more toward things of His Spirit rather than things of this flesh.  

This is the Gospel that I must preach to myself every day, every moment: Jesus Christ, God made flesh, left his eternal home in heaven, came to this broken world to save sinners of whom I AM CHIEF. He did not see fit to leave me in my wretchedness but loved me so deeply, He gave up His eternal intimacy with His Father so that I could obtain it as well. He shared His perfect record with me to meet His Father's just requirements. And He purchased me with His blood, enduring far worse than I will ever experience, not only in physical and emotional pain and suffering but in spiritual separation from what we can only begin to comprehend in our finite minds as his "soul mate" (The Father). The response to that kind of one way love is shockingly not to just "love him in return," not because that's a bad response, it's just an impossible one. I'm not capable of truly loving him back the way he's loved me. No, the only appropriate and applicable response is worship. I now see who I am and who He is and I give Him the glory He is due. I'm due nothing. It all belongs to Him. I can't even love him back proportionately. I was made to worship and at the revelation of the depth of His love, I respond in worship. I remember this Gospel and I live to honor the one who loves beyond all love. I know that some days my flesh gets in the way of my mission to give glory and honor to Him who saves. Whether it's my sin or the curse, it doesn't really matter. I'll confess it all and than praise the God Who is big enough to use all of it for His glory!